Thursday, October 31, 2002Fernando Luis Pozuelos 12/20/77 to 10/24/02Thursday, I got a call at 6:00 in the morning. It was my wife's aunt calling to let us know that my godson had died. I called off from work immediately thinking that there had been some mistake in the communication somewhere. I let my brother and sister in law know. We made the trip out to Rialto after dropping my girls off at school. When we got there as you can imagine everyone was totally destroyed. Nandos mother was inconsolable. His fater in a grifestricken daze. His brother was also unconsolable. His wife my goddaughter was also destroyed. My godddaughter asked me to take care of the arrangements for her so I set out to work immediately. I was concerned that they were going to get overcharged and didn't mind being put in this position but I worried that I was having more say than I deserved. I visited three mortuaries and two cemetaries. I have to admit I was drawn to the family establishments. I told my goddaughter the two that I preferred and we agreed to go there the next day. Friday, was difficult as well. The family was unconsolable today as well. I tried to forwarn them of every horrible step they were going to face. I tried to limit the number of people who went on particularly difficult steps of the process. Going to the Mortuary I tried to limit to just the immediate family as I knew from my own experience that the casket room was going to be horrible. It was a polarizing moment when you first walk in there you realize what you are truly facing. Now let me make one thing clear and that is that the family who ran the mortuary we chose was awesome. There experience was wonderful and they were extremely considerate. What also worked out wonderfully for us was that they were catholic as well. After we finished the mortuary arrangement we headed over to the cemetary where we couldn't see anyone but they did ask that we pick out the location and come back Monday to do the paperwork. Saturday, was another huge difficult step. My goddaughter was distraught because she hadn't seen Nando. The funeral director was nice enough to arrange a special famil only viewing. This was hard because while my goddaughter and godson had seen him dead the morning he had passed, none of the other people going with me including his mother had gone through this step that morning. I knew it would be hard especiall on his mother. At 11:00 we went to the mortuary and he had been placed in the chapelcovered only with some blankets. It was disturbing to sit there because he looked more like he was asleep than anything else. After the viewing I took everyone to a local church where they prayed in a garden to the Virgen de Guadalupe. Sunday, was a day of no work for me. In fact I left from there Sunday morning and cam back home because it was hard to get any rest in the house. There was nearly fifty people a night sleeping in the house. Monday, I was back out at the house bright and early since we had the appointment at the cemetary. Again picking a family business paid off as they treated Yahaira, my goddaughter better than what was agreed to and or was expected. We picked out the spot where Nando will rest forever. It was another surreal moment. Monday evening we had the wake/belorio depending on your culture. Again it was hard because many people had not seen him dead yet. We had a deacon who did the service including a rosary with a musician, which was really nice. Next came the biggest of the tests. We had to close the casket. After getting all but the immediate family out, evryone said their last goodbyes and we closed the casket, a truly heartwrenching experience. I drove home that night knowing again I was going to have to be back and well rested the next day. Tuesday, was another torment for me. The mass was at 11:00 in the church where they were married in South Gate. It didn't hit me until I got inside, I was one of the four pall bearers who stands at the side of the casket throughout the service, but not even eleven months ago I was in the same position watching Nando and Yahaira get married. The service was beautiful for me, the Priest who did the service had done Yahaira's baptism, first communion, confirmation, and marriage, just as I had been the godfather for all of these. I thought he did a great service dedicating a lot of attention to my goddaughter. Next we all drove off for the cemetary in Rialto. Hermosa cemetary is a little, to me, old style cemetary. It takes up all of about one large city block now. It looks like it will grow larger some day. We had a fairly quick service. Because there was no clergy available the funeral director and did the commital. It was nice to see that my goddaughter let the mother of Nandos other daughter have a preacher of her own church say a few words and I also think the preacher did a fairly good job in saying what he did. Finally when we started lowering the casket into the grave emotions got the best of many of the people. I wont go into detail because I know it was done entirely out of love. I walked with my god daughter as she put her flowers over his vault which was a really hard moment for her. We watched as they covered the grave up and it was done. Tuesday night I let myself go. Back at my compadres house I drank Tequilla shots with the boys. I had lectured them all the previous four days about praying for Nando and not wallowing in drunkeness. After I had completed his services, I truly believe he is at peace, I decided to send him off the way he would have liked. Now I'm not a drinker and I dont usually do well with tequilla but I gave it my best shot in his memory and managed to clear some demons I had in my soul. Wednesday, I was back at home again. I didn't get a hangover suprisingly and I had the day to reflect on all that had happened. I am writing this so I can remember the details forever. Rest in peace Nando! posted @ 03:38 AM PST [link] [Karma: -1 (+/-)] Sunday, October 20, 2002Update and No Mercy Results!Well I have been neglecting my web site for some time now. We implemented a new radiology system at one Hospital and will implement at the other in a few weeks. I am teachin catechism classes every Saturday which is entertaining. I have a class of fifth and six graders. They are sharp kids and ask good questions and seem to appreciate the way I teach which more often than not is not really theological so much as realistic. I try to explain things in the light as if they happened today what would they think. Mimi and I are also going to serve at the February Cursillo which should be really exciting. We go to the Escuela de Dirigentes twice a week starting in November so it should be quite a challenge.
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